happy new you

You can of course start the year with good intentions. Maybe you want to drink less, exercise more or say no. But if you love yourself and accept yourself fully, change will come naturally. Many bad habits are the result of avoidance or insecurity. For example, you eat or drink too much to avoid having to feel an unpleasant emotion. Or you don't say no, because you actually think you shouldn't take up that space. By developing self-love, many bad habits are no longer necessary.

Because often these habits are covers for your negative self-image. You move away from yourself instead of towards yourself because you don't want to see or feel something about yourself. You look for distraction in case of anxiety by looking at your phone, eating, drinking or watching television. Turn it around. See anxiety as an invitation to turn to yourself, instead of moving away from yourself. That way you can experience that there is nothing that needs to be avoided. As soon as you lovingly connect with your heart at troubled moments, you will develop more and more self-love and peace.

Five ways to love yourself more

• Full self-acceptance: embrace your beautiful and ugly sides. Put your shadow sides in the limelight. If you think you can be lazy, stupid or jealous, it's actually not that bad anymore. Because let's be honest, perfection is boring.
  
  An exercise in full self-acceptance: as soon as you experience an ugly quality of yourself, put it in the spotlight in your mind. Shine on it and say "I fully accept myself, I love myself the way I am."
  
  
• Are you divine self: don't discount yourself, don't adapt, but listen to what you want and show it. We are all afraid of being rejected and therefore often keep our opinions to ourselves. Let yourself shine. If you stay close to yourself with an open heart and open mind and follow your intuition, your beautiful self will blossom much more.
  
  Being an exercise in yourself: take a moment when you feel safe and express something you wouldn't normally express. Something you experience that way. It doesn't have to be big, just something small can also work beautifully. Do not reject the other in this, the other may think differently. Open your heart and say what you think with respect for the other.
  
  

• Ignore the inner critic: we all have a voice within ourselves that says that we are no good, that others are not okay, or that the world is unsafe. By recognizing this you can see it more as noise. A kind of radio with fear news in the background, which you can hear, but with which you identify yourself less and less. By meditating and looking at that voice as a chatterbox that goes on and on, you can loosen up from negative self-talk.

  An exercise in de-identification with the inner critic: Sit in a place where you cannot be disturbed. Wait for a thought to come up and write the thought down. Let it go and wait for the next thought. Write these down again. As a result, you can establish that you are not the inventor of the thoughts, but that it is an infinite flow, with which you do not need much.

• Selfcare: if you don't feel self-love, you often take bad care of yourself. After all, you are not worth it or you may not take that space for yourself. This makes you more frustrated and you can also experience more anger. Taking good care of yourself makes everything easier. Make it a priority and make room for it.

  An exercise in Selfcare: ask yourself, what do I need to feel good in terms of body, food and mind. Give yourself this challenge. You also immediately become a nicer person

• Guard your limits: without self-love it is difficult to maintain boundaries. People can play with you because you think somewhere that you are not entitled to your own space. If you default on yourself, others will too. By starting to feel that you are worthy to take up space and that others have to take you into account, you automatically set boundaries.

  Setting an exercise in boundaries: indicate that the other person crosses your boundary in simple clear terms without judging the other. For example: i don't like it when you… Often this is enough, if not, repeat the message again and indicate what you will do if the other person continues (for example, stop the conversation or leave the situation). Stay calm and don't judge the other person. Keep it simple with yourself and withdraw from the situation if the other person does not accept your boundaries.

'And then the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to Blossom.' - Anais Nin

I wish you a lot of self-love during this challenge!

Love,
Esther
Psychologist and founder bbb health boutique